It’s been two years since I last wrote a blog entry. And, I can’t say I know why I stopped.
- The kids have gotten a bit bigger… and a lot busier.
- Emme has matured and somehow by the grace of God managed to earn her Canine Good Citizen certification.
- Work has become more demanding, but maybe more rewarding, too.
- My reading has actually picked up as I’ve needed – more than ever before – a reliable place to escape.
- My parents have gotten older. Which is more heartbreaking than people tell you.
- The church has changed in small and not-so-small ways. And, for no reason in particular, I’ve struggled to find my faith footing.
- I met Anne Bogel… and then actually ended up on her podcast – which was wild!
- I started a book club with my sisters and it’s become this huge, important part of my life! God bless sisters everywhere.
- I joined #bookstagram. (Weird.)
- I found little bits of myself and lost other bits and had big feelings about both.
At certain points, I thought about blogging. But, I could never commit. In my mind, it felt like such a hard thing to do, growing more difficult as time passed. My brain is really adept at making things harder than they need to be.
But, now the world is upside down and I’ve just had this nagging regret that I’ve done nothing to document it. (I don’t even write columns for my little local magazine anymore.) It just feels so weird that I just have a few journal entries to say… hey, hello, we were here during the COVID-19 crisis.
So, here I am saying – we are here. We are living this.
We’re on week two of the kids being home from school. Granted, the first week was technically Spring Break but we didn’t get to go anywhere or do anything. We are on day… I don’t even know… of being quarantined. Other than making little trips to the store and the library for as long as it stays open (I mean, I’m not a barbarian!), we stay indoors. The kids haven’t gone anywhere. I’ve kept them completely indoors.
My office is closed and I had my first video chat meeting today. So progressive! I’m scared about the future of my job. Both our jobs, actually. I don’t know how anyone in the world has job security with the world as it is… unless they work in a grocery store, hospital or manufacture hand sanitizer, toilet paper or N95 respirator masks. The stock market has tanked. I’m not financially sophisticated enough to know what that means except it’s bad.
What a time to have a faith crisis – AM I RIGHT?!
But, here we are. Real and raw.
I do my fair share of complaining about the kids. It is not easy being a full-time mom and a part-time employee and a wife and just a regular person with moods and hormones and anxiety and burdens right now. But, the kids honestly haven’t been too awful. We’re managing under the circumstances. And, at least I’m not lonely or bored. I’m never bored in this house.
I don’t know what the world will look like tomorrow. I hope it’s a little bit better than it is today. I don’t think this can last forever. But, the real question is what our new normal will be when this is over.